“If you are able to understand yourself and know why this appeals to you, then you can explain it to your partner in a non-threatening way,” Goerlich says. “Starting from a place of curiosity and knowing what your goal is makes it easier to sell any kink or fetish.”
"Bringing new people into our lives — whether as friends, new family or something more intimate — should always be a choice grounded in love and a desire to be loving ... never as a means to address a lack of fulfillment where you are."
“in the same way where any supportive partnership helps us cope with the trials and tribulations of daily life...When mutual affection and support are present in a relationship, we are better able to cope with what life throws at us.”
"“We are remarkably adaptable creatures,” says Goerlich. “If you’d suggested two years ago that we would, collectively, spend a year quarantined at home, I suspect most of us would have said they’d never survive such a predicament. And yet now that we have, many of us are going to feel the same way about returning back into the world."
"The folks I know who have incorporated [choking] into their intimate play often tell me that they do so because they experience an increased emotional bond...They know it’s dangerous, and the choice to engage in a dangerous activity builds trust and love between them.”
If the couple involves someone with a penis and someone with a vulva, Goerlich recommends that the penis-haver be the person who lies down, so that the vulva owner can control the depth of penetration during oral sex.
According to sex and relationships therapist Stefani Goerlich, LMSW, “I’m also hearing a lot more about masturbation happening during the workday — occasionally even during meetings, when one is listening in but muted/off-screen.”
“Allow yourself to recognize that you have survived a once-in-a-century global event,” she says. “This is a unique experience unlike anything experienced by previous generations — and unlike anything our children or grandchildren are likely to endure ... You are a badass for surviving. And once you recognize just how strong that makes you? Thriving is just around the corner.”
“Regardless of one's personal feelings around these new creative terms, our response should always be based on kindness and courtesy,” says Goerlich. “It doesn’t injure me to know that my coworker Henry prefers to be called Hank. Likewise the same courtesy should be extended to my colleague Gia, who prefers zie rather than she.”
"Are they imagining a specific scenario? Are they concentrating on the physical sensations they’re experiencing? Are they thinking about you? Knowing where their brain goes when they’re having solo sex can be a great bit of insight for you to have when you’re having sex together too,”