“We don’t wear leather and latex. We can’t afford all the fancy equipment. And we wouldn’t ever want to go to a public dungeon, even if we did know how to find one! Does that mean we’re doing something wrong? Are we bad at BDSM?”

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"The connection between stilettos and sex has become so ingrained that an image of the shoe alone is sufficient to serve as a visual shorthand for seduction. But this hasn’t always been the case."

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"Working through relationship desires that seem to be mutually exclusive can be fraught and challenging—but it is possible! For some, simply being able to acknowledge their orientation, without ever acting on it, is sufficient. They no longer feel compelled to live a life of secrecy, code-switching with their partners and living in fear of being outed as something other than what they were perceived to be. For others, however, this is not enough."

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" it can be incredibly difficult to find science-based reasons for embracing monogamy. Across time and species, non-monogamy has been the biological default."

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"Often, when my clients bring up the topic of exploring “alternative” relationship models, they feel as if they are stepping out into an uncharted world that few have dared to brave before. They don’t realize that non-monogamy was the norm for most of human history."

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"Eight times out of ten, whatever the issues are that my client-couples bring to the table, they are rooted in a fundamental misalignment in how each partner gives and receives love."

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“Don’t assume that your relationship has to be bad in order to benefit from therapy,” says Goerlich. “I work with lots of couples who want to focus on a goal like improving communication, co-parenting effectively, and improving their sex lives. If you feel as if your relationship could be stronger, you’re a candidate for therapy.”

Read the full article here:
www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/online-couples-therapy?fbclid=IwAR2Oya8WNPQOpxujt6SU8mwHQTfz5zGinJ1XVD_N5ZOn1BX5bBDS_ZdlrvY

Stefani talks to Dr. Caroline West about the difference between intimate partner violence and consensual kink, and how clinicians can differentiate between the two in order to best support their clients. Listen to the complete episode here:

https://tortoiseshack.ie/on-the-couch-with-kink-and-therapy-ep-54/