My Philosophy

A lot of my client's select me as their therapist because they know that I am sex positive, trauma-informed, and generally unshockable. Even when someone isn't coming to therapy for an issue directly related to sex and intimacy, these topics inevitably bubble up because they inform so many other parts of who we are: our behaviors, our relationships, our sense of self and safety and sacredness. Here's how I approach these themes when they come up:

I Believe That...

I Do NOT Believe...

Pleasure, intimacy, and connection are valid needs to have and to ethically pursue.
People are entitled to define their sexuality on their own terms.
No one should be judged or shamed for their sexual desires.
We each have a moral and ethical obligation to seek out ethical, consensual, ways to express our desires.
Honest, accurate, and comprehensive sex education is a human right, and necessary to give folks the knowledge and tools they need to have fulfilling, healthy, happy relationships.
Most people are sexual beings and want to have meaningful sex lives with partners they trust, care about, and choose. This is true regardless of their gender, survivor status, disability, culture or faith tradition.
Likewise, folks who are asexual or sex averse are valid and entitled to respect.
People should have agency and freedom in their sexual decision making- including when, with whom, and under what conditions they have sex. This includes sex work.
Sexuality and intimacy are sacred gifts, and that sexual expression does not contradict religious belief.
Each and every human being is born exactly as they are meant to be and that no one has the right to force change upon another simply because they disagree.

Everyone must have sex to be whole and healthy human beings.
I have the right, or the skill, to change someone’s sexual or gender identity.
Sex has to be kinky, non-monogamous, or pansexual in order to be good sex.
Kink, non-monogamy, or pansexuality are signs of mental illness.
Accepting someone’s sexuality means engaging in it with them, either visually, verbally, or physically
Sex is ALWAYS positive, healthy, and good. Sex can and is used in harmful ways.
Sex is a cure-all.