“By taking tests such as these with your partner, you learn so much about what you might have in common but have been too afraid to talk about,” says Goerlich, whose clients often say they feel embarrassed or ashamed of what they want to do sexually.
"Here’s the thing: the process for getting naked with someone dosn’t vary much between in-person and sext. The key is to slow down, take time to get to know one another as people first, and to build trust BEFORE you drop your pants."
"Our natural inclination when we see another person in pain is to reach out and try and help. But it’s important to recognize the limits of what one can do, when talking to someone online. Mental health professionals spend a great deal of time learning how to properly assess the risk of self-harm, how to deescalate these situations, and how to proactively intervene for those most at risk."
"...for the most part, the people asking me “Is my kink okay?” aren’t engaged in these types of activities. They’re simply people who are unsure of what counts as “healthy” sexuality. People who have been raised with limited sexual education or with a high degree of sexual shame. They’re Lyft drivers and attorneys, stay-at-home parents and fitness trainers, students and retirees. They’re average, every day, people…who happen to be into some statistically less-than-average sexual practices. So, how do we know if someone’s kink is okay?"
“Sites dedicated to sharing the best of what's happening in the world right now are important resources. If you focus too much on the troublesome or overwhelming, it can start to feel like that's all that's happening.”
"I can’t help but believe that something has been lost, even as we discover ever more ways to indulge humanity’s desire for visual stimuli. If we’re not watching sex together, are we talking about sex together?"