"We tend to stick with general questions such as 'what turns you on?' when we first form a new sexual relationship," licensed master social worker and sex therapist Stefani Shaffer-Pond, tells Bustle. "This is such a broad question that it tends to elicit surface level responses such as 'I like candlelight' or 'I really enjoy oral sex.' To be honest? I don't know many people who dislike candlelight. Try probing further: Ask your partner 'what kind of porn do you like to watch?' or 'what was the last image you came to?'" Not many of us are so bold with our questioning or so candid with our discussion — but maybe we should be. If these numbers say anything, it's that there's a lot of room for improvement.
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